This post is for all my female/mommy readers. Happy Mothers Day and much love to each of you.

Disclaimer: This post is geared toward women. Male readers may not appreciate, or may be offended by, some of the humor below.

Dontcha Hate It When …

You realize your baby spit up on you after you’re out in public?

You changed your shirt 4 times, but not your bra and everyone is staring?

You’re in the middle of making supper and realize you’re missing a key ingredient?

You have the perfect outfit but no shoes to go with it, or vice-versa?

A stray hair is tickling your ‘valley?’

Your ‘time of the month’ comes at the wrong time of month?

You’re 1 day late.

You’re 3 days early.

You realize your favorite jeans are no longer in style?

You forget the name of a person you definitely should know.

You find something black in your teeth 3 hours after lunch.

You trip in public.

Your child reaches down your shirt in front of people.

Your nursing pads didn’t do their job.

Your child gives a narrative while you use a public restroom.

You’re done nursing and go DOWN a cup size and UP a dress size.

You realize exactly how many Oreos you just ate.

You realize the days for fitted shirts are over.

Your hubby wants some love and you didn’t shave your legs.

You’ve already left the house and realize you’re still wearing your slippers.

Someone ‘catches’ you climbing the shelves in the grocery store to reach an item (come on, I can’t be the only short mom).

You forget to bring your camera to the once-in-a-lifetime family event.

Strangers reach out to rub your pregnant belly. Seriously???? Hands off.

You forget your child’s special comfort item somewhere and you need it NOW.

You’re finally in the mood and he’s not.

You accidentally wear your wedgie panties and have to discretely ‘pick’ them all day.

~~~~~~

Your baby is sick.

You realize they’re growing so fast and feel like you’re missing too much.

You want to cuddle and they don’t anymore.

They begin to need you less and become independent.

Seeing them grow makes you want another one … earlier than you’d planned.

Why I do what I do ~ I always knew I’d like it. I hadn’t the slightest idea I’ve love it this much. Stretch out my skin, give me wrinkles and make me gray quickly – the price of Motherhood is well worth paying.

YNAB-You need a budget. Yeah you do.

Rent movies from Netflix. Try for free!

Use coupon codes to get UPrinting Discounts on printed products.

Related posts:

1. Homemade Granola And Granola Bars

1. Come out of the closet.
2. Stop picking your nose.
3. Please take your hands out of your pants.
4. Yes I’ll take your booger for you.
5. Yes, your feet are stinky.
6. Where did you find that raisin?
7. No, those aren’t my belly.
8. I’ll lay with you for a few minutes.
9. You have to change your undies.
10. Do you need a time out?
11. What do you say when you toot?
12. Do you need me to kiss it?
13. It’s not nice to bite your friends.
14. Are you making good choices?
15. Can I please go pee by myself?
16. Please don’t put that in the toilet.
17. You can pull your own pants down.
18. Do you have to go pee-pee or poo-poo?
19. Where does pee-pee go?
20. Do you need help wiping?
21. (With tissue up to nose) Ok, blow.
22.  That’s not food. Take it out of your mouth.
23. Are you a boy or a girl?
24. Is there a nicer way to ask for that?
25. Please don’t put your hands in there.
26. Keep your feet to yourself please.
27. Mouths are for eating and kissing, not biting.
28. Don’t look under the stall (in public restroom).
29. Don’t touch anything (in public restroom).
30. Yes, she’s doing a great job too (in public restroom).
31. Spit that into my hand.
32. Only mommies and daddies kiss like that.
33. You have to wear clothes today.
34. Are you ready to give ______ a kiss and a hug?
35. Please stop playing in my bed.
36. Why are you naked?
37. Are you ready for a tubby?
38. Can you hug me even tighter?
39. You are my favorite girl in the entire world.

Why I do what I do ~ Today Chloe was walking around pretending she had hiccups. She walked in the kitchen and said, “I have hiccups mom!” Then proceded to demonstrate. My niece followed her into the kitchen and said, “Auntie, I have hair cups too!”

YNAB-You need a budget. Yeah you do.

Rent movies from Netflix. Try for free!

Use coupon codes to get UPrinting Discounts on printed products.

No related posts.

Today is Funny, Random Post Day

Every now and then you need a break to think about something ridiculous and smile. Occasionally I feel like writing about exactly those things. A few weeks ago my husband and I were in church, someone sneezed very loudly and I got a very silly idea. I felt compelled to ask the question.

So, answer if you dare … what kind of sneezer are you?

1. Erupter. You inhale deeply and explode everywhere. Everyone hears it. People look around wondering who that terribly loud sneeze could have come from.

2. Stifler. You attempt to hold it in, and who knows why, because every time you do it comes out as a tiny, high-pitched squeak. People look at you quizzically, expecting something more to happen.

3. Rapid Firer. No matter how hard you try you can’t sneeze just once. You often hear “God Bless You! God Bless You! God Bless You! Is that it?”

4. Snorter. All of the energy behind your sneeze ends up in your nose and comes out sounding like a stifled snort.

5. Singer. Similar to the erupter, your sneeze is loud but it’s also accompanied by a sing-song type of sound, “A-CHooooo!”

Are you one of these or maybe you are a combination. Perhaps you are a Rapid Firing Singer! Don’t know which one you are? Ask your spouse/partner. They’ll know.

 photo credit: nishidaryuichi

YNAB-You need a budget. Yeah you do.

Rent movies from Netflix. Try for free!

Use coupon codes to get UPrinting Discounts on printed products.

No related posts.