What Will My Children Value?

Would you indulge me with a little trip back into my childhood? If so, read on. If not, see ya tomorrow

As a girl in grade school I remember making up all sorts of clapping, handshake songs. Did you memorize the McDonalds Menu song and learn all the clapping that went along with it? We had all sorts of songs that we sang to see how long we could jump rope too. One went like this: “Cinderella, dressed in yellow, went upstairs to kiss her fellow, made a mistake, kissed a snake, how many doctors will it take? 1, 2, 3, …” I still remember jumping a ridiculous amount of times to that song. I also rememeber a game we called “Cat’s Cradle” that we played with string looped around our fingers. That would occupy me for hours. How about MASH? Who can risist finding out if you’ll live in a Mansion, Apartment, Shack or House; knowing exactly who you’ll marry and how many children you’ll have? I also learned a very exclusive language as a kid. I’m sure my parents never figured it out. Or-yay ey-thay ere-way ood-gay at-yay ooling-fay e-may. I forced my brother, sister and friends to sample my concoctions made from things I found in my yard. My very own organic “soup.” The main toys in my back yard? Black walnuts and prickly cucumbers.

Fast-forward to present.

Gone are the days of tree-climbing, fort-building, hide-and-seek and playing in the creek. Jump ropes, marbles and treehouses have been replaced with cell phones, Facebook, and PSPs. I know I’m being a little extreme. These things aren’t gone but they don’t seem to be as valued anymore. It makes me sad to think that Chloe (and any other children added to our family) might miss out on some of these memories I hold so dear. Will she think back to her first cell phone like I remember my first Walkman? Maybe. I still feel like something is being missed out on though.

So many people don’t know how to cook anymore. Others think it’s weird that I sew or find time to make bread. I’m not saying these things are better or worse than anything else I’m just saying I think it’s sad that they’ve become strange. It seems like the simple things in life are fading, becoming distant memories of a time that’s almost gone. There are so many things that do everything for us that we don’t need to do anything anymore.

It’s a strange spot I find myself in as a parent. I want my kids to be well-adjusted to the society they are living in but still place value in things that encourage creativity and imagination. I want Chloe to be fluent with computers and modern software but I also want her to know how to pretend and make believe without a single toy around her. I want her to enjoy nature and God’s fantastic creation and learn that there’s so much more lasting value in paddling a kayak across a lake than there is in sending more texts than all of her BFFs. I want her to know how to prepare meals, sew and play the piano but also be able to use her IPhone (or whatever the “it” thing is in 10 years). I want to raise a daughter that knows how to use all the latest gadgets but finds that she’s frequently better off without them.

How do you balance the electronic allure of our culture with the simpler pleasures that kids don’t realize they are missing out on? How do I raise children that place their value in things that are lasting as opposed to things that are expensive?

I don’t really have answers to these questions. I’ve only been a parent for 3 years. I know that I’m doing the best I can to model these same behaviors in my life – to turn off the tv and play a game, to close my laptop and read a book, to take the kids exploring in the yard to see what we can find. I feel a sense of responsibility in being a parent. It’s a beautiful gift to be able to invest in a person’s life in such an intimate way, to have a part in shaping who they will become.

tree photo credit: Shaury

Why I do what I do ~ My daughter had her face painted for the first time this past weekend. She requested a rainbow on her forehead.

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Tagged as: Family Life, Parenting