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Right now my budget is tight and allows for very little wiggle room. We’re working toward reducing our debt load so most of our extra money goes in that direction, but not all of it. You see, even though we aren’t doing so hot in the finance department we still try to be giving. I hope that once our debt is gone that we can be even more generous with our money but I don’t want to wait until then.
Yesterday, if you can believe it, I allowed my hubby and daughter to come to the grocery store with me (I’m a lone grocery shopper usually). I tasked the two of them with picking up a couple items to donate to our local food pantry. My budget was unusually tight this week because I’ve spent some extra money on food this month. The initial response would be to cut out any extra items, which I did, but not the donation to the food pantry. Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t purchase Porterhouse steaks or even anything all that impressive be we still chose to be giving.
When living a frugal life there is a fine line between cutting back to your benefit and cutting back to your detriment. I think there is a point where we can go too far and we end up choosing frugality over people. We choose to argue over how to split a bill, insisting we owe a dollar less than they do. We choose to belittle someone when we think they’re being wasteful. We elevate the noble, frugal lifestyle, while looking down on people we believe to be materialistic. Or … we choose not to give or be generous. We don’t take our turn to buy coffee or lunch and infrequently return favors in the name of being frugal.
Actions like these put frugality or our budget before people and can be damaging. On the quest to spend less we end up focusing so much on the numbers that we forget to enjoy the people in our lives. I could get out of debt faster if I cut all extra spending but it will be a few years before I’m out of debt. A few years is too long to not be giving and refuse any activity that costs money. I’d rather save up some money to eat out (at a frugal spot!) with great friends than constantly refuse the invitation just to save some money. I want to know that I’m a part of bettering our community and helping those in need.
Money isn’t the point. Frugality isn’t my goal; it’s a means. My goal is to live a responsible, full life, surrounded by people and things that I love. It costs extra money to do that. If my frugality costs me important relationships or prevents me from being giving then the cost has become too great and I need a change. Life isn’t all about sacrifice; it’s about people. I want to teach my daughter that you can enjoy life and be giving while living frugal. Do you think it’s possible?
I have trouble with this balance sometimes. Learning when to say no and when to let it go and spend a little is tough. How do you decide where to draw the line with your spending and giving?
Why I do what I do ~ Chloe had her 3-year check up with her doctor yesterday. This morning she woke up as Dr. Chloe and asked for some “medicine” to treat her imaginary baby chicks. I gave her a medicine dropper with water and she was in heaven. Maybe she’ll be a veterinarian.
photo credit: lanchongzi
Related posts:
- What Gives When The Budget Breaks?
- OK, I’m Frugal – Now What?
- Frugality Builds Character
- Frugality Is Not A Contest
- Money Stretched Vs. Money Saved
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi,
We’re trying hard to live within a budget too, especially now as my part-time job has been cut way back to VERY part-time.
I think it’s important to keep giving as well, and especially for our children to develop that value when they’re young.
Vintage Mommy’s last blog post..Show & Tell: Vintage Mommy Gets Crafty
So true. My husband (www.ichilly.com) and I have been living by the motto, “Live on Less so we can Give More!”
We’re finding out that giving is alot more fun than having!
Thanks for sharing your life so honestly with us!
netta’s last blog post..Can’t fit another thing!
@Vintage Mommy – It’s true. Our children won’t learn to be giving if we aren’t.
@netta – What an awesome motto!
Thank you for this reminder! We’re saving so hard for a house, and sometimes I write out those checks for the ministries we support while thinking I’d really prefer to be putting that money in our house fund, but it’s those times that I need to remember that the money is going to help take care of both physical and spiritual needs of people who are FAR less fortunate than I am. I spent one summer in Romania, and I’ve seen first hand poverty that we as Americans cannot begin to understand.
Kelli M’s last blog post..Free Chocolate!!!
@Kelli M – I hear ya. I went on a mission trip to Haiti 9 years ago and it has stuck with me. You just can’t forget things like that.
I love, love, LOVE this:
“Money isn’t the point. Frugality isn’t my goal; it’s a means. My goal is to live a responsible, full life, surrounded by people and things that I love. It costs extra money to do that. If my frugality costs me important relationships or prevents me from being giving then the cost has become too great and I need a change. Life isn’t all about sacrifice; it’s about people. I want to teach my daughter that you can enjoy life and be giving while living frugal. Do you think it’s possible?”
Well said, and YES. Absolutely.
Writer Dad’s last blog post..Meme Oh My-O
Well said Nicki. Excellent post.
Andrea’s last blog post..Where do you find friends?
Great post. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Sometimes I get a little overboard with the frugality and put it before people, but my wife is always there to talk some sense into me. I’m glad she does.
Travis @ CMM’s last blog post..Almost Gone
This is a very good post. It is sometimes hard to decide when to be frugal & when to be generous. My pastor says, “Never resist a generous impulse”. I think that’s helped me a lot. Thanks for blogging & sharing some very useful ideas with us! (By the way, I love your little clippets about Chloe!)
Ruth Chowdhury’s last blog post..Dentist
YES! Sometimes you really have to realize what the priorities are
Britt’s last blog post..Apple Bread